Things you should know before going to a Gokon
If you are already in Japan, you might have heard about Gokon (合コン).
Gokon is a party held by someone who’s looking for a chance to meet new people.
And the main purpose of Gokon is to try and find your loved one. In Japan, if
you want to meet someone new, what you can do is get together with you friends
and hold this special type of party. In this article, I will give you some
important tips on how to make the most of Gokon. You may also find “the one”
you’re looking for!
1.What is Gokon?
First of all, for people who are not familiar with Gokon, let me help
you understand what it actually is. Gokon is a party held by girls and boys,
who are looking for opportunities to meet new people. Most Gokons consist of
small groups like 3 women and 3 men, each group having the same number as the
other group. That way, even though you cannot find any new people who will
join the party, both you and your friends can get a chance to find a
lover. Usually, Gokons are drinking parties. However, you will also have dinner
with your friends and with new people, and have great conversations.
2.Hidden rules you have to know before Gokon
In Gokon, there are some underlying rules during the party. You have to
be careful not to break them! So here’s how you can avoid doing
that. Firstly, you have to make sure that you are not late. If you are a
girl, make sure to do your make-up and dress up in time, way before the party starts.
It does not leave others with a good impression if you are not on time or are
not prepared and dressed up when you get there. You might think that you will
be able to go to the bathroom and do your make-up there after everyone gets
seated. But you have to think about the atmosphere that that would create at
the party. If you go to the toilet to finish your make-up right after meeting
new people for the first time, it would ruin the atmosphere, because the groups
will continue with uneven numbers, like three boys but only two girls. Those
two girls might be excited to talk with everyone in there. So make sure you are
ready for the party before it starts and be on time!
Introduce yourself briefly
After everyone gets seated, you will start to introduce yourself to the
others because most of the people who are there do not know who you are. But
don’t try to explain everything about yourself right away. Give a brief
introduction. You might think that a long speech would be appealing to the
other people, but it might actually have the opposite effect. In Gokon, people
are sometimes required to be patient and listen to someone else’s story in
order to make them feel comfortable. So the same thing could also be said to
you when you’re speaking about yourself.
Do not talk too much only with
you friends
When you have a conversation, make sure that everyone can follow the
story line.When you are asked to join a group for Gokon, there is probably
going to be someone who you already know. You might have some common topics
that only you and your friend know, but you have to make sure that you do not
talk too much with each other about things that the other people may not know
about. If everyone else does not understand what you and your friend are
talking about, people will get bored and might feel that they do not want to
meet you again.
When you want to go to the
toilet, do not take your friends with you
In Gokon, it is preferred if you go to the toilet by yourself. Or if
there is someone who wants to go at the same time, one of you has to wait until
the other comes back. The reason for this is to keep everyone in a good mood
and keep the conversation going. You have to think about the people who are
left at the table after you went to the toilet. What if both you and your
friend leave and at the table there’s only one girl with three boys? That girl,
while waiting for you to come back, might feel tired having to talk with
everyone else at the same time.
Do not drink too much
At a Gokon, you are most likely going to have dinner along with some
alcohol. If you are shy, you might want to keep drinking a lot in order to
cheer and open yourself up. You might sometimes be successful by pursuing this
strategy, but most of the times, if you get really drunk, you won’t get any
opportunities to speak with other guys or girls. Nobody wants to take care of
someone who is very drunk, especially if they have met for the first time. So
make sure you don’t drink too much!
Exchange your contact
information with everyone even if you are not interested in them
During a Gokon you might find someone you want to get to know more, so
the next step would be exchanging each other’s contact details. However, make
sure that you pass your contact information to everyone you meet at the party.
First, at a Gokon, you might not be able to talk with everyone, and there might
be someone you haven’t met who likes you without you noticing it. Second, a
common Japanese trait is to make sure that there are no problems within a
group. Because of this, if you exchange your contact details with only one
person, the other people might feel uncomfortable about not being asked the
same. You don’t have to regularly send messages to everyone after the
party. However, simply texting “hi” after you get someone’s contact would be a
nice idea!
If you are asked to join a Gokon, you have to be aware that there are
some important points you should keep in mind before going there. Once you
understand the hidden rules for Gokons, you will definitely enjoy taking part
in it and look forward to meeting someone new again. It can also be a great
opportunity to find your Japanese lover, so don’t hesitate to join a Gokon. You
will certainly find someone there!
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