Why Guys Misunderstand What It Means to Be Caring For Their Japanese Girlfriends

Being caring is one of the most important qualities that Japanese girlfriends look for in a partner. However, they start to see the negative side of their boyfriend’s kindness when he overdoes it. Being caring may seem like a strength at the start of the relationship, but when overdone, a guy can appear “too clingy” in women’s eyes. But when do women feel that a caring guy has become clingy? We’ve listed 8 ways that guys misunderstand what it means to be caring.

1. You never leave her side.

Some guys think that staying by their girlfriend’s side is being caring. Most women, no matter how much they love their boyfriend, will become annoyed when he hangs on to her when spending time together. Remember that maintaining a healthy distance is good for your relationship.

2. You always want to carry her bags.

Some guys believe that carrying all of their girlfriend’s belongings, from her purse and shopping bags to her jacket, is a demonstration of kindness. People find it off-putting when a guy is carrying items that women can easily carry themselves. If your girlfriend cares about how she appears in public, she might think, “My boyfriend is pathetic.” Let your girlfriend have her way if she declines your offer to hold her things.

3. You walk on eggshells when you talk to her.

Some guys think that trying to interpret their girlfriend’s feelings when talking to her is being caring. While couples must be understanding about their partner’s emotional ups and downs, some people don’t want their partner to be so hesitant, because this is the person they feel most at ease with. Be careful, because once your girlfriend becomes unhappy about this, she might go for someone who approaches her with more confidence.

4. You move closer to her so you can see her more or you suggest moving in together right away.

Some guys assume that moving closer to their girlfriend or moving in together is being caring. Your girlfriend will likely think you are being too clingy when you suggest this at the beginning of the relationship, unless she is as excited as you are about the idea. Generally speaking, romance-oriented women are seen as being cute, but when guys act in this way, they are seen as being too dependent.

5. You always pick her up when she goes out drinking with her friends.

Some guys think that always giving their girlfriend a ride home when she goes out with others is a sign of caring. Of course, it’s better to be safe than sorry, but if you offer to pick up your girlfriend in areas that are considered safe, she might think you are overly possessive instead of protective. Women also told us that guys who “worry too much” or who “care too much” are perceived as being clingy, rather than kind. Give your girlfriend a ride if she asks for it, but avoid it otherwise and let her be independent.

6. You always adjust your schedule and preferences to hers.

Some guys imagine that adjusting their schedule and food preferences to their girlfriend’s is a way of caring. Your girlfriend might find you clingy if she is the type who thinks, “I want to maintain my work and same-sex friendships as they were.” Moreover, you might appear to lack individuality when you cater too much to your girlfriend. It’s important that you let her adapt herself to you once in a while.

7. You call and text her often and for a long time.

Some guys confuse frequent calling and texting as an expression of caring. If your girlfriend takes a long time to call or text you back, it might be a sign that she thinks you’re clingy. Similarly, if your girlfriend’s text is short compared to yours, she might think your long messages are a burden. It’s a bad idea for you to remind her to text you back, so sometimes you need to be patient.

8. You treat her like a child or your tone of voice is patronizing.

Some guys assume that women are vulnerable. You might confuse being protective and giving advice as being caring. You might intend well, but some women see this as meddling. Even if your girlfriend relied on you at the beginning of the relationship, she may become more autonomous and independent with time. Be careful that your advice never interferes with your girlfriend’s independence.